Lumberton, NC

Kevin:  (describing the town) ...and the Comfort Inn is right there next to the Outback Steakhouse.
Kenny:  Yea, u could find a escort or hooker around there too...might make your dick fall off though.
Me:  I only have one and I'd like to keep it.
Kenny:  Well I'm sure you could get a strap-on somewhere in town.

Cafe Risque

There several billboards for this place along I-95 making it seem like a big deal.  It's right by the farm I was working at, so I decided to let the world know it's a huge let down.  I was thinking about researching the inside for Chauncey, especially since they have "Good Food" AND "Adult Toys"

Waffle burglar

This was just a funny headline; something I would do.

Elizabeth City, NC

Suck it Deere

That's right, puttin' 'em in their place.

Redneck Mobile

This is a station wagon with 33" blacked-out tires parked in the Tractor Supply parking lot. re-TARD-ed

Funny Sign

I saw this in Missouri and just had to take a picture.

Kansas

This is Kansas, you don't need to go there, this pretty much sums it up.

Kansas Cow

She was looking at me funny, so I took a picture.

Oops

Haven't posted in a while so here are the updates:
Left Missouri, drove cross-country back to New Holland, PA
Was in New Holland for 4 days
Drove down to North Carolina to do more testing.
Nothing interesting has happened, so I'll post a bunch of pictures I took.

Mutt

I was doing some repairs at a farm yesterday.  There was only one other person working near the shop and it was this big dude with a big beard, named Mutt.  Mutt was a cool guy, cranking the country music from his late 90s Mercury Grand Marquis.  He came over to talk to me at one point.  He comes over drinking a Busch Light, that's cool; he's welding, it gets hot doing that.  But wait a sec, it's 10:30 am!!!  I go into the shop about 2 hours later, he's got 2 beers left out of the six-pack.  Are you telling me this crazy mofo is 4 beers deep on a Monday at 12:30 pm while he's welding?  Wow, I wasn't sure whether I should be scared or amazed or envious.

Country Music

I've been getting back in touch with my country music lately.  Mostly because they're the only stations that come in clearly.  I'd like to share some lyrics that made me laugh:

"This house is protected by the good Lord and a gun, you might meet 'em both if you show up here not welcome, son...We're about John Wayne, Johnny Cash, and John Deere."
-"Way Out Here" by Josh Thomson

Beer Selection

They seem to be very limited in their beer selection here.  They basically have Bud, Miller, and Coors.  It reminds me of that scene in Blues Brothers.  They walk into this country bar where they're supposed to play.  Elwood asks the bar lady, "What kind of music do you guys play?"  She responds, "Oh, we play both kinds...Country and Western."  However, I did happen upon a sampler pack of a Kansas City micro brewery called Boulevard and its pretty darn good.

Dorothy needs to stop littering

I went for a run today.  I google-mapped the route but didn't look at the satellite images or anything.  So I'm jogging down the highway when I see my turn, which is down a dirt road.  O.K., no problem.  Well maybe one.  There aren't any road signs on dirt roads.  What they do have is plenty of Busch Light cans on the side of the road.

Pro-Life Hills

Apparently the hillsides in Kansas are pro-life.  About every 15 miles, there's usually a billboard denouncing abortion or something posted on a hillside.

More Rednecks

Wednesday, first thing in the morning, we're fixing one of our combines that broke down the night before.  Here's the conversation:

My Boss John:  "We could cut the spindle ends with a plasma cutter then weld the tips onto a new shaft."

Redneck Sean with a cowboy hat and dip in his mouth: "Whoa, settle down there! We just got electricity yesterday, baby steps."

Kansas Rednecks

On Friday, I was replacing some parts on a combine, one of the guys working at the dealership told me this:

99% of people say "Oh Shit!" right before a car accident
The other 1% are from Kansas, and they say "Hold my beer, and watch this!"

Intro

Alright, so I was thinking that I need to record some of my experiences when I'm out on the road.  I am going to be using this site to document the highlights of my trips, maybe post some pictures, and hopefully get a few laughs.